I whined today at Kettle & Cup that I was out of coffee.

Weekends are supposed to be quiet and laid back.
I am still kicking myself for everything I have done wrong the last several years, every stupid decision, everything that was not well planned and thought out. A waste of time and energy I know, but easier said than done to stop.

If you are a family member reading this-go away. This is private between me and a million people on the internet.

I wish my barn looked like this....

I am going to knit today. I have decided to ask Matt and Ethan to take my comfortable chair up to my room. I am usually not a person that hides away but I am overwhelmed by the extra people in the house. Not because they are doing anything wrong, but integrating 2 more adults and their two kids into a family the size of ours has some weird logistics. Suddenly you are having to be so careful of what you say..people are giving way too much advice to others, and I guess I feel like my haven of peace, my refuge is no longer a refuge. Somehow it is my fault too...and I am bad about being the one that sacrifices for others...If it is a question of my comfort or theirs their will normally win...
DO I resent that? hmm..sometimes. I don't think of it that much..it just is. I have been an anorexic ..I know I can go long periods without food, so if there is not quite enough it is easy for me to use blogging as an excuse to not be at the table...
I must say, that I am having trouble being quiet because Jon and I are so much alike. Absolutely full of ourselves. I am tired of hearing that God is teaching me something...I am tired of hearing about my spiritual weaknesses. I have them, assuredly! When I am stressed because of the lack of money, and i am the one that is making the money..and a person does not have a job and does not feel *led* to get one...umm...maybe telling me that my financial stress is unspiritual is not the best thing to do?
But I bit my tongue, did not say much...I wrote ugly poetry on Butterfly warriors and it made me feel better..LOL!

It is a nice day here, sunny and close to 70 I think. The little kids are playing outside. The big kids are trying not to argue over the computer. Marc is away at a Royal Rangers thing, and Erin and Jon are sequestered.

Garden planning is done, only to find that neither of our tillers is working. Hopefully when Marc gets back he can go borrow a friend's tiller. I want to get kale, spinach, lettuce, snap peas, radishes, onions, broccoli and cauliflower in the ground.

My friend Jennifer has a blog called, Slices of Green. She has the most amazing stuff there. I was so absolutely in love with this sink and sideboard made from recaimed wood.
I would so put that in my kitchen. It just fits.

I wish I could get a different perspective on my kitchen. There are a lot of positive things about it, it's size for example. Having a fireplace in the eating area, having 4 ovens (well, three that work), having 2 dishwashers (don;t use them)..A big walk in pantry. This house is fabulous. I do love it.

Maybe rather than going upstairs I am going to head to starbucks..I have money left on my gift card that my friend Mary gave me (thanks Mar).

So, what does homesteading look like at your house on saturday?