Monday, March 10, 2008

Well we have runt he gamut from spring leaves to snow.. NOw it is 60 degrees again, but I still can't plant anything because everything is gooey and muddy. We had some major thunderstorms last night, with more supposed to move through over the next few days.
This happens ot me every year I think
Anyway. I did handle a credit card problem, and I don;t think things are as bad as I thought they were for this month. YAY!

I want things to be different, I just don't know how to make them different. SOmetimes I am so overwhelmed,and I wonder what the point of continuing to try to push ahead is. SOmetimes it feels like i am pushing ahead, and just dragging everyone else with me, and i am tired of that. I still think, sometimes, as much as I love this house, that selling it and buying something new and mcmansion-y is the way to go. And then I see the eggs, free, organic, fantastic eggs, or maybe the creamy milk..or the horses whinney to me, or something..and I know this is where I want to be.
Hard as it is it is better than the alternative. I keep repeating to myself that this is a season, only a season.
I wonder what I am learning. Here, the mud, the flooding problems, the lack of space, the infringement of the city on me, taking a bit more each day...
Surely there is something just around the corner.

1 comment:

Christine C. Moore said...

Tommy has to keep reminding me about finding joy. All I can think of is "When will this season end!!" Hard to stay joyful when you want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over your head. BUT, then I get a 70 degree day, the chicks run between my legs and peck at my bright pink rubber boots and for some reason I can't help but smile.
(Still want the season to end, but desperately seeking the joy while I'm here.) :O)